how do you relate?
- amandakschneller
- Aug 21, 2015
- 4 min read
As I sat and rocked my daughter to sleep tonight, I do what I always do and reflected on my day. Sure there was work, cooking dinner, playing together as a small family... and then there was the shopping trip we made to BuyBuyBaby. This was a shopping trip markedly different than an experience I had last weekend.
Like countless other trips we've made before to the baby superstore, I just went for a few random items we needed--more pacifiers, some sippy cups and a new book for fun. When we'd finally gathered all the things we'd needed (and then some) we made our way up to the check out. A man was waiting at one of the open registers. As I made my way over and put my items down he informed me that he was having computer trouble and was waiting for someone to come up to help him out. He then apologized for the wait. I wasn't in a rush so Audrey and I hung out at the counter.
"What a sweet little girl. I have to ask, though, how did you know that she needed glasses? I mean, I wear glasses, but..." He trailed off, perhaps wondering if what he asked was appropriate.
I find we encounter this a lot when we're out in public. I completely understand that it's not everyday you see a baby with glasses and people are curious beings. The way this man approached the question is, in my opinion, 100% appropriate. We've been through a lot--we've had our fair share of uncertainty but also an incredible amount of hope. We've witnessed miracles. I'm so proud of our little girl and am happy to share her story.
So I gave him the very condensed version and I think he was pretty surprised, as are most after they learn all we went through to get to these tiny pink glasses. By that point, the computer had been fixed, our items rung up and we were back on our way home for the evening.
Like I mentioned earlier, this trip was markedly different than a shopping experience I had last weekend. Will and I were in need of a new dining table--turns out a large glass top table with sharp edges isn't exactly baby/toddler friendly. So after multiple trips to a furniture store here in town, we finally decided we'd move forward with a set we'd had our eyes on for awhile.
With a few other items on our list of furniture needed for our home, we casually walked through the store. Audrey was having a grand time (afterall there was so much to see!) and was happy squealing as she was wheeled around.
A woman approached us and said, "oh, is someone not having any fun?"
I'm sure I had a look of confusion on my face. Audrey was happy as a clam and was letting the world know it. "No, she's actually really happy--she's just making noises."
The woman walked around and took a peek at Audrey. What she said next stopped me dead in my tracks.
"Oh, lazy eye, huh? Yeah, my grandson has a lazy eye and that thing is all over the place and you can never tell what he's looking at." As she started talking about her grandson she was laughing.
I was stunned. Here are the initial thoughts that went through my head:
1. She doesn't have lazy eye, but even if she did this is not an appropriate way to approach a conversation about her vision.
2. How could you joke about your grandson's condition? I'm sure that both the child and his parents have gone through their own journey of highs and lows and to know a child's grandma was mocking him in this manner really bothered me.
3. Did you seriously just say that?!
I stammered a bit trying to navigate the best response. I squeaked out, "Actually she has underdeveloped retinas."
"...Oh... So what are you guys in for today? Is there anything I can help you with?"
I responded that we were 'just looking' and we moved on to find someone else we felt was better deserving of commission. We purchased our set from a man who complimented Audrey on her frames and told us his story about his daughter who needed eye patching to strengthen a weak eye. He made a comment in regards to how wonderful it is that glasses and patching can help a child's vision so early on. I think it goes without saying that his approach = appropriate.
Now here's the deal. Even though the woman's approach was less then desireable, I completely understand where she was coming from. We're all looking to relate to one another and this was her way of trying to connect with us. And maybe if things weren't so fresh for us (I mean, it hasn't even been a year yet) maybe I would've found it a little more humorous. This is just another reminder that you don't know what others have gone through to get where they are today.
Afterall, you'd never know there was such a big story behind such little glasses.
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